Blame it on the weather, the lack of sunlight, P.M.S, hunger, S.A.D, el nino, the economy, and/or global warming, but I've noticed my last few posts have had a bit of a negative undertone. TODAY, I've decided to try something new. I'm giving this optimism thing a whirl, SO:
Despite waking up at 6 a.m. to SNOW. Despite the scale showing a 2 lb weight gain when I’m really trying to make it go the other way. Despite running out of hairspray and having my replacement hairspray smell like old lady perfume. Despite my FAVORITE cottage cheese being on sale at Albertson's and SOLD OUT. Despite missing the first half of the Biggest Loser and not knowing if Mike pulled through with a 10 lb weight loss. Despite a painful dental visit WITHOUT Novocain or laughing gas. Despite my phone bill coming in at $100. Despite dropping one of my fake diamond stud earrings and rummage through the garbage to recover it. Despite being called “sexy” by an OLD man at the gym. Despite a broken toilet seat and despite my pico de gallo being frozen... this was just the kind of day I was hoping for…
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Baby.... Ruth!?
I went to the dentist today. He removed a cap on one of my pearly whites by drilling a crevice into the cap and shoving a flat blade screwdriver -literally- in the crevice and wrenching it until it snapped apart…
I’m generally hard to numb, GENERALLY!... today, the dentist gave me enough Novocain to cripple a rino. I am numb up to my eyeballs and I look like a stroke victim! Not just any stroke victim, a stroke victim with a Jewel snaggle tooth (the temporary cap on my nubbin of a tooth doesn’t blend... AT ALL).
I couldn’t justify skipping the gym due to my stroke, so I proceeded to Gold’s to lift. This proved TERRIFYING when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror during a difficult bicep curl and with the strained face I looked like Sloth from Goonies….
Basically, I look like the drunk lady who's face was eaten off by her dog....If you just can’t quite get the visual, imagine if these three bred….
I’m generally hard to numb, GENERALLY!... today, the dentist gave me enough Novocain to cripple a rino. I am numb up to my eyeballs and I look like a stroke victim! Not just any stroke victim, a stroke victim with a Jewel snaggle tooth (the temporary cap on my nubbin of a tooth doesn’t blend... AT ALL).
I couldn’t justify skipping the gym due to my stroke, so I proceeded to Gold’s to lift. This proved TERRIFYING when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror during a difficult bicep curl and with the strained face I looked like Sloth from Goonies….
Basically, I look like the drunk lady who's face was eaten off by her dog....If you just can’t quite get the visual, imagine if these three bred….
Friday, January 30, 2009
Lint Licker
Can we just talk for a second about the ass hat who, just because he drives a Mercedes, finds it necessary to park on an severe angle and take up two parking stalls. I understand not wanting a door ding on your shinny, 50K+ silver convertible, but park at the back of the parking lot dill hole, it's 20 degrees outside and I'm in heels.
Friday, January 23, 2009
I Don't Think You're Ready for This Jelly.
Whenever Kate and I travel together, people always ask if we are twins. Portland was no different, so rather than explain the whole situation, we’ve just decided to go with it. I guess the fact that we ended up wearing the exact same shirt and exact same hair do on the exact same day, didn’t really help… pure accident I promise.
Its hard to really pinpoint my favorite part of the trip, it was just all so good, so I’ve opted to just highlight a few of the… well… highlights.
Patrick stopped me in the Portland airport just to say “Hi” apparently he works for a music label in L.A. with “high profile clients” similar to Taylor Swift and staring in High School Musical. Since my vocal skills aren’t up to par, I’d be happy to introduce anyone to Patrick who was shafted from this seasons American Idol.
Breakfast at Mother’s Bistro (lonely rider): Normally breakfast alone (no pun intended) would be enough, since it is my favorite meal of the day, but a breakfast consisting of coconut, macadamia nut pancakes… Heaven! Curtis, and army recruiter and Macey’s shoe salesman, stop by for breakfast as well. After an hour long discussion, I clarified that “No I was not a lesbian visiting Portland with my lover” “No I don’t care to join the Army and “Yes I would love a shoe hookup at Macey’s”. Curtis paid for my breakfast and we said our goodbyes.
Vodoo Dougnuts: The final stop on this years amazing race and perhaps one, or two (it was too good we had to go back), of the most interesting stops on the trip. It’s just a hop, skip and saunter through homeless row to get to this shady part of town, but worth the hepatitis risk. I settled for 2 pound banana fritter, glazed and then drizzled with chocolate and peanut butter and topped with chocolate chips and chopped peanuts. It took me about 12 hours to eat it, but I don’t regret it, my pants do, but not me.
The round 2 jaunt to Voodoo Doughnuts resulted in the following, somewhat one sided “conversation” with a random man on the street near homeless row:
Its hard to really pinpoint my favorite part of the trip, it was just all so good, so I’ve opted to just highlight a few of the… well… highlights.
Patrick stopped me in the Portland airport just to say “Hi” apparently he works for a music label in L.A. with “high profile clients” similar to Taylor Swift and staring in High School Musical. Since my vocal skills aren’t up to par, I’d be happy to introduce anyone to Patrick who was shafted from this seasons American Idol.
Breakfast at Mother’s Bistro (lonely rider): Normally breakfast alone (no pun intended) would be enough, since it is my favorite meal of the day, but a breakfast consisting of coconut, macadamia nut pancakes… Heaven! Curtis, and army recruiter and Macey’s shoe salesman, stop by for breakfast as well. After an hour long discussion, I clarified that “No I was not a lesbian visiting Portland with my lover” “No I don’t care to join the Army and “Yes I would love a shoe hookup at Macey’s”. Curtis paid for my breakfast and we said our goodbyes.
Vodoo Dougnuts: The final stop on this years amazing race and perhaps one, or two (it was too good we had to go back), of the most interesting stops on the trip. It’s just a hop, skip and saunter through homeless row to get to this shady part of town, but worth the hepatitis risk. I settled for 2 pound banana fritter, glazed and then drizzled with chocolate and peanut butter and topped with chocolate chips and chopped peanuts. It took me about 12 hours to eat it, but I don’t regret it, my pants do, but not me.
The round 2 jaunt to Voodoo Doughnuts resulted in the following, somewhat one sided “conversation” with a random man on the street near homeless row: - Scary Man (SM): Excuse me.
- Me (M): Yes?(said in a shaky, scared voice as I grabbed tighter to my bags)
- SM: Girl U is FINE!
- SM: U a member of the club.
- M: ahh… (quickly walking away)
- SM: U do know what club that is? (getting louder)
- SM: U DO KNOW WHAT CLUB THAT IS!
- M: What club (speed walking at this point and weighted down by my 2 lb doughnut.. pre-eating)
- SM: The BOOTYLICIOUS club baby! U can have ALL my money…
At this point Kate and I were laughing so hard we could barely walk. I'm still not sure if bootylicious is a compliment or a low blow. On one hand, he compared me to Beyonce…. On the other… well…let’s just say maybe I should lay off the doughnuts.
Sorry Kate, you aren’t in this “exclusive club” with me and Destiny’s Child. Maybe try the “Savory” doughnut next time. Those 2 strips of bacon on top of the maple bar have got to add a few more calories,
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
And The Award Goes To...
Those of you who are from, or have ever been to Emery County, this may or may not come as a surprise to you. It’s a shinning example of the quality of life sustained in God’s Country.
This is an actual wedding announcement from the Emery County Progress (the county paper. You may recognize it from a previous post as it featured me running in the Turkey Trot, aka: Hell). I can’t quite figure out why it’s pertinent to Emery County since the lovely couple is from Richfield (a different county all together), unless is has something to do with the great, great, great grandparents who are dead... Hmm. Anyway, this couple is destined for success; quite the list of credentials, talents and life experience and if that’s not enough, just check out their breeding… quality stock!
*** Note: names have been changed for the purpose of this blog, I would hate for it to be found on a google search of the happy couple. (I didn't change the first names of the parents and grandparents. I couldn't make those up.) ***
Kathy Ray Pea and Ross Albert Wolf, both of Richfield, have chosen Jan. 3, 2009 to be married in the Manti LDS Temple. A reception will be held that evening in Richfield.
Kathy graduated from Richfield High School and Richfield LDS Seminary in 2007. She participated in speech and debate, and symphonic band. She is an alumni member of One Voice Community Audition Choir. She has been attending Utah Valley University.
Ross graduated from Richfield High School and Richfield LDS Seminary in 2006. He was a foreign language Sterling Scholar, the Spanish Club president, participated in cross county, and is a member of the Green Valley Cloggers and Clog America. He is a member of One Voice Community Audition Choir. He served an LDS mission to Puerto Rico.
Kathy is the daughter of Roy and Tina Pea, Richfield; the granddaughter of Lavan and Sharon Bearns, and the late Bruce Pea, Cedar Hills; Jean Bell and the late Elbert Bell, Ferron; and the great-granddaughter of Phebe Player and the late Cloye Player, Wellington.
Ross is the son of Stacy and Judy Wolf, Richfield; the grandson of Doug Wight and Kaye Lee, and the late Loraine Wine, Cedar City; and Reveau Wicks and the late Lavoy West, Sandy,
I bet Ross was an Eagle Scout too!
It must have been VERY sunny the day their picture was taken. Too bad Kath couldn’t part with the sunglasses long enough to snap the picture. But overall, the picture's not too bad.
Honorable Mention
This is another glowing couple announcing their love and devotion in the county paper.... don't squint, it won't improve the quality of the photo. It came that way.Yet, more proof that flannel is on its way back in.
This is an actual wedding announcement from the Emery County Progress (the county paper. You may recognize it from a previous post as it featured me running in the Turkey Trot, aka: Hell). I can’t quite figure out why it’s pertinent to Emery County since the lovely couple is from Richfield (a different county all together), unless is has something to do with the great, great, great grandparents who are dead... Hmm. Anyway, this couple is destined for success; quite the list of credentials, talents and life experience and if that’s not enough, just check out their breeding… quality stock!
*** Note: names have been changed for the purpose of this blog, I would hate for it to be found on a google search of the happy couple. (I didn't change the first names of the parents and grandparents. I couldn't make those up.) ***
Kathy Ray Pea and Ross Albert Wolf, both of Richfield, have chosen Jan. 3, 2009 to be married in the Manti LDS Temple. A reception will be held that evening in Richfield.Kathy graduated from Richfield High School and Richfield LDS Seminary in 2007. She participated in speech and debate, and symphonic band. She is an alumni member of One Voice Community Audition Choir. She has been attending Utah Valley University.
Ross graduated from Richfield High School and Richfield LDS Seminary in 2006. He was a foreign language Sterling Scholar, the Spanish Club president, participated in cross county, and is a member of the Green Valley Cloggers and Clog America. He is a member of One Voice Community Audition Choir. He served an LDS mission to Puerto Rico.
Kathy is the daughter of Roy and Tina Pea, Richfield; the granddaughter of Lavan and Sharon Bearns, and the late Bruce Pea, Cedar Hills; Jean Bell and the late Elbert Bell, Ferron; and the great-granddaughter of Phebe Player and the late Cloye Player, Wellington.
Ross is the son of Stacy and Judy Wolf, Richfield; the grandson of Doug Wight and Kaye Lee, and the late Loraine Wine, Cedar City; and Reveau Wicks and the late Lavoy West, Sandy,
I bet Ross was an Eagle Scout too!
It must have been VERY sunny the day their picture was taken. Too bad Kath couldn’t part with the sunglasses long enough to snap the picture. But overall, the picture's not too bad.
Honorable Mention
This is another glowing couple announcing their love and devotion in the county paper.... don't squint, it won't improve the quality of the photo. It came that way.Yet, more proof that flannel is on its way back in. Monday, December 22, 2008
Candy, Candy Corns, Candy Canes and Syrup
What happened to the good ol’ days when people said "Merry Christmas neighbor" by dropping off a plate of homemade goodies? I look forward to it every year and so far all I’ve seen (at my sisters house; my neighbors don’t bring me goodies. However, I wish Gerrard, the HOT single man 2 doors down would drop off some goodies… I have some for him…) is a bag of M&M’s and a box of Andies Mints.
COME ON! Bring me the divinity, the homemade carmels, the peanut brittle. Is it too much to ask for some homemade chocolates, that marshmallow/ popcorn/ gumdrop goo, fudge! chocolate dipped pretzels, peppermint bark or peanut butter bars. Hell, I’d even take a santa shaped sugar cookie a this point. Let’s get back to basics people! Keep you’re nativity scene, I already have one, just bring me the goods… let me taste the love.
COME ON! Bring me the divinity, the homemade carmels, the peanut brittle. Is it too much to ask for some homemade chocolates, that marshmallow/ popcorn/ gumdrop goo, fudge! chocolate dipped pretzels, peppermint bark or peanut butter bars. Hell, I’d even take a santa shaped sugar cookie a this point. Let’s get back to basics people! Keep you’re nativity scene, I already have one, just bring me the goods… let me taste the love.
Friday, December 5, 2008
And What to My Wondering Eyes Did Appear…
I was greeted in the gym locker room last night by a very large naked woman…. Let me make sure you understand the full scale of this, we are talking Star Jones big (before the lipo), wearing NOTHING but a smile and strutting around like she was Mr. T at a gold jewelry convention.
Now don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against “big boned” women, but I do have something against naked women in public places. Props to you for loving “the skin you’re in,” but put it away…. I don’t care if you are Eva Longoria or Rosie O’Donnell, I don’t want to see it.
Now don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against “big boned” women, but I do have something against naked women in public places. Props to you for loving “the skin you’re in,” but put it away…. I don’t care if you are Eva Longoria or Rosie O’Donnell, I don’t want to see it.
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