Candy, Candy Corns, Candy Canes and Syrup

What happened to the good ol’ days when people said "Merry Christmas neighbor" by dropping off a plate of homemade goodies? I look forward to it every year and so far all I’ve seen (at my sisters house; my neighbors don’t bring me goodies. However, I wish Gerrard, the HOT single man 2 doors down would drop off some goodies… I have some for him…) is a bag of M&M’s and a box of Andies Mints.

COME ON! Bring me the divinity, the homemade carmels, the peanut brittle. Is it too much to ask for some homemade chocolates, that marshmallow/ popcorn/ gumdrop goo, fudge! chocolate dipped pretzels, peppermint bark or peanut butter bars. Hell, I’d even take a santa shaped sugar cookie a this point. Let’s get back to basics people! Keep you’re nativity scene, I already have one, just bring me the goods… let me taste the love.

And What to My Wondering Eyes Did Appear…

I was greeted in the gym locker room last night by a very large naked woman…. Let me make sure you understand the full scale of this, we are talking Star Jones big (before the lipo), wearing NOTHING but a smile and strutting around like she was Mr. T at a gold jewelry convention.

Now don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against “big boned” women, but I do have something against naked women in public places. Props to you for loving “the skin you’re in,” but put it away…. I don’t care if you are Eva Longoria or Rosie O’Donnell, I don’t want to see it.

No Autographs, Please!

I ran in the annual Huntington City 5K Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving. I was just one in a sea of 50 participants… ya, half of Emery County showed up to compete. It was probably the worst 3.1 miles I have ever ran and this is why:
1) It was the most boring route EVER. The course went straight down the road, 1.5 miles where there was a car parked, when you reached the car, you turned around and headed back. It honestly felt like 20 miles, just to reach the car and when I finally did, I wanted to call SAG to come pick me up. There was no SAG.

2) It was up hill both ways. I know that’s what your Grandma (or in my case my Mom, same age difference) use to always say, “ I walked to school, uphill, both ways, in snow up to my knees…” but in this case, it was 100 % true, sans the snow.

3) When I finally reached the car at the top of the hill, I turned around to head back, only to be slapped upside the face by a cold, misty head wind. Awesome! Nothing like a little resistance to really elevate the heart rate.

4) It took me a full 5 minutes longer to finish then my usual time, I’m pretty sure the only people I crossed the finish line in front of, were the walkers. I attribute this to the previous 3 factors as well as the following little doozy:
It may sound like an excuse, but damn it, I’m going to use it. ELEVATION. I’m use to running in the Salt Lake Valley, elevation: approximately 4,330 feet. Huntington’s elevation: 5,797 feet. I stared sucking wind pretty early, so like I said, I’m going to go with the idea that those 1,467 feet made a difference and I’m not just out of shape.

Luckily at the end of the race they held a drawing. I was the big winner with a 32 oz fountain drink from the local Maverick. I was pretty excited because you know that just what I needed/ wanted after the big race… a Soda. On the flip side, my picture made it into the county paper, so I think that elevates me to “local celebrity” status.